Have you ever been called “intimidating”? I have. First I thought it was funny. Then I started to think about it, I didn’t like it. And the more I think about it, the more it bothers me that this as seen as a flaw in women.
A little background information on me: I’m very much career-oriented in my daily life, and also have a clear idea of what I expect from the guys I date. I got my shit in order so I expect the same from a man. And now a friend of mine told me that all of this makes me intimidating to men.
You know what’s funny? Men are never called these things. At least not as a character flaw. Men are expected to be dominant, focused on their career, and setting high standards for the women they choose. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. So why can’t women do the same? I have a theory (don’t I always?).
Women are always expected to be “less” than the man they’re with. Think about it: people get so uncomfortable seeing a taller woman with a shorter guy, a darkskinned woman with a lightskinned guy, or a woman who weighs more than the guy she’s with, or even if she makes more money than he does. I’ve gotten that a lot. I’m 1m80 / 5’11”. I like my 4 inch heels. And that often gets me commentary from both men and women. It’s usually something along the lines that I can’t/shouldn’t wear those shoes when I’m out with a guy or whatever. And don’t even get me started about the double standards when it comes to sex, where women shouldn’t have “too much experience” but for men the higher the body count, the better. Which is stupid. Body count doesn’t matter. The last time you got tested does. But I digress.
Girl, you make that money, you wear those heels, you rock that dress, you put that deposit on the house you want, you drive that BMW 5 series. If it makes anybody uncomfortable, that’s really their problem, isn’t it? And honestly, I don’t really care if a man finds me “intimidating”. I have no patience to deal with someone’s fragile masculinity anyway.