Breakups are hard. They’re no fun, regardless of whether you’re the breakupper or the breakupee. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do to save your own sanity.
I’ve been in a few long-term relationships. Not that many, but enough to notice a pattern. Now, what I’m about to tell you here is strictly personal of course, but maybe it might help you along in your life in some way, shape or form.
I like to judge situations on the following: I should get at least as much energy out of it as I’m putting into it. Of course some days may be skewed more one way than the other, but in general it should balance out nicely. When it’s been off balance for a long time, so taking up all of my energy with nothing in return, that’s when the shift happens. The shift takes place a couple of months before a potential breakup, and for me indicates that one of two things can happen now. You recycle the relationship or you let it slowly bleed out. What is recycling the relationship? Glad you asked.
Recycling the relationship is simply turning the old, comfortable relationship into something new and exciting. Rediscover each other, push your boundaries. Generally, this is my go-to strategy. It all depends on what caused the shift though. If it’s just that you’ve gotten a little bored, this can be very effective. If there are deeper issues at play, you may need more rigorous help, if you’re willing to do that.
But if that doesn’t work? That’s all up to you. I know that if nothing changes, I start to detach. And then, when I finally do leave, there’s no coming back. No matter how deep the love is/was.