You know that initial excitement when you meet somebody new, hit it off and start thinking if y’all could work out? And you know that anxious feeling you get after a little while, once you start overanalyzing every text (or lack thereof), gesture, facial expression? I’m probably one of the biggest culprits of overanalyzing, but I’m here to share some things that I think may help you tone it down.
Don’t ask your perpetually single friend(s) what it all means
We all have (at least) one perpetually single friend. And while it’s completely understandable to discuss your crush with your bestie, be aware that your friends may (and probably will) project whatever they’re dealing with on your situation. This is human nature, so why highlight the perpetually single friend? Because two things can happen: they will either discourage whatever’s going on between you and your potential candidate so you can keep enjoying the freedom that comes with singlehood with them, or they’ll project every bad thing that ever happened to them and their grandma on your guy/girl.
Use your phone the way God intended
Remember when we discussed this? I know calling isn’t really a thing anymore for most people, so this point may be personal. But please, PLEASE don’t relay important stuff over text, okay? Just don’t. Pick up the phone and call. That’s what these things were made for. Initially anyway. Intonation can make all the difference. And no, voice notes aren’t the same. Even better would be seeing each other face to face, but let’s be realistic: we’re all very busy people and can’t always do that. The moment you start to discuss everything over text is the moment you’re gonna be pacing around your apartment, googling the multiple ways in which emoji can be interpreted.
The blessing and curse that is social media
This one will depend on how invested this person is to updating their socials. But for the love of Nutella, DON’T assume that every post is a personal attack on/tribute to you, and don’t wreck your brain trying to decipher what it means. Most of the time it really ain’t that deep. They just like listening to Adele, OK?
The flipside
Now. This does mean that if you’re dating / in a relationship / “hanging out” / “talking” (I loathe those phrases), be FRIGGIN CLEAR, ok? Say what you mean and mean what you say. In the beginning you might not know, but if you’ve been seeing each other for a little while you should know what kind of person you’re dealing with. Can they handle sarcasm? Do they need constant reassurance? Do you wanna deal with that? Take a little responsibility.
#preach