Ever been in a one-sided relationship? You probably have.
One-sided relationships come in a lot of shapes and forms. It can be a romantic relationship, a family member, a friendship. They all kinda have the same things in common though.
One-sided romantic relationships
Whatever phase you’re in, it can all be one-sided. The most common example in the “just dating” phase is when one of you doesn’t even know you’re dating. You know the situation: you guys have been hanging out, meeting up, talking, bonding. A movie here, ice-cream there, the occasional festival or whatever. And suddenly the other person refers to these little meetups as dates. Whoa. You thought you were just friends.
On the other end of the spectrum of one-sided relationships you have the ones where you find you’re really the only one in the relationship. How, you ask? It depends on how you define a relationship. Last year I told you that what defines a relationship for me is exclusivity. Therefore, when one of you decides to no longer uphold that, they’re no longer in that relationship. And there you are, on your own.
One-sided friendships
We’ve covered this before. One-sided friendships are the ones in which one person always put forth the effort, but can never count on support in return. There are levels to this as well. It can range from someone not willing to grant you any kind of emotional space to express yourself, especially dissatisfaction, to that one friend who’s so self-absorbed they don’t even bother texting you back with “I’m good, how are you?” but instead go off on a tangent about their own life. And shame on you for trying to get a word in about something that’s going on in your life. If you really got a special one, they’ll even try to make you feel bad for “not being a good enough friend” to them or otherwise try to emotionally manipulate you. Yay.
One-sided family relationships
Basically these can be just the same as one-sided friendships, although often with the added bonus that emotional manipulation is much more prevalent. The whole “blood is thicker than water” philosophy. Personally I don’t think you owe anybody anything above and beyond what’s reasonable just because of something coincidental like a shared bloodline, but that’s just me.
So what’s the conclusion here? In any kind of relationship, you should be equals. Of course you’re different people with different lives and backgrounds, but there should be a level of mutual respect, honesty and trust if you want to have any kind of healthy balance. If one of you decides to go about their business in complete disregard towards you and the consequences their actions have on you, it’s time to cut ties. As always: as soon as the bad structurally outweighs the good, walk.