One of my good friends is in a new-ish relationship. It’s adorable. They’re adorable. And now, of course, she’s being bombarded with the question all women who have been in a relationship for a few months get: “has he said IT yet?”
“IT”, for those of you unfamiliar with girly pressing questions, refers to those three little words: “I love you”. Awwh. Unpopular opinion time: I feel there’s too much weight on the first uttering of this phrase in a relationship. Is it important to hear every now and then? Absolutely. Do we need to act like we’re in a fucking Hollywood movie where we’ll skip down a hill off into the sunset hand in hand after hearing these words? No, stop it.
So why is it overrated? Because throughout a relationship (any relationship by the way, not just romantic ones) we show and say that we love the other person in little gestures, questions, phrases. On top of that, a couple of years ago a book was released about the five Languages of Love, which I notice has kinda been accepted as truth. Or guidelines, at the very least. So these love languages explain the five different ways in which people express their love:
- Words of affirmation: compliments or words of encouragement.
- Quality time: their partner’s undivided attention.
- Receiving gifts: symbols of love, like flowers or chocolates.
- Acts of service: setting the table, walking the dog, or doing other small jobs.
- Physical touch: having sex, holding hands, kissing.
Pretty concise and clear, right? Cool. So what this basically means is that just because you, for example, are more of a “words of affirmation” type who needs to hear the actual words, they might be more of a “physical touch” type of person to whom it’s a huuuuuge deal that y’all hold hands in front of his boys or whatever. Oh by the way if you want to know what your preferred Love Language is, you can take a test here if you’re single and here if you’re not. Try to be honest instead of giving socially desirable answers, mmkay? Anyway I digress.
So for those of us that are currently thinking “Well that’s great and all, but ol’ dude still hasn’t said it to me”, I’ll betcha he has.
Has he dropped off some food during a busy period in your life when he knows you tend to neglect yourself? Has he done his best to alleviate some of the burdens you deal with on the daily so you can focus on other tasks? Does he ask you to text or call as soon as you reach home if he can’t take you home himself? Does he know how to support you in difficult times and actually step up when you need him to? Honestly, what more do you need to know?
