In last week’s blog post I mentioned how indecision is a choice. But in all honesty, for those of us who can be very indecisive, it certainly doesn’t always feel that way.
Indecision can appear at a bunch of different aspects in life. It can range from big things (should I move across country for another job?) to the seemingly trivial things (what should I wear to tonight’s party?). Opinions on what causes indecision vary, but most people can agree on some of the underlying emotions. And I’ve seen this in my circles as well.
The most common thing you hear is that people are mostly afraid of making the wrong choice and failing. But from what I’ve noticed, a lot of people who are chronically indecisive, or even passive, are much more afraid of succeeding. Makes no sense, huh? Some people have become so used to the idea that things don’t work out the way they want them to (which is a whole other discussion for another time), that they’re actually comfortable in the position in life they’re in. Succeeding at something would mean changing their whole routine, their attitude, their everything. And this makes a lot of folks uncomfortable.
Mind you, indecision isn’t always a bad thing. For example: some people with certain personality types like to do a lot of research before making any kind of decision. The big risk here is that with most things, you can always research more, or think more, or discuss more. If that happens, you get stuck in your indecision. That way nothing ever gets done. What’s worse: people might start making decisions for you. Sometimes this can be nice, but it’s bordering very close on giving up your autonomy, so don’t let it happen too often.
Defeating indecision is difficult, but you can certainly do things to lessen it. As with anything, the first step is acknowledging it. Then take a long, hard look at yourself and ask yourself why you’re so afraid to make up your mind. If that doesn’t work or is too confrontational, ask yourself: “Will this matter in 10 years?” Trust me, nobody’s going to care whether you had the tuna or chicken salad for lunch 10 years from now.
The most helpful advice about big life decisions I’ve ever gotten is: “When in doubt, don’t”. My mom told me this once when she was talking to me about marriage, but I think it applies in other areas of life as well. But I’ll tell you all about that in a future blog post.
What’s also good to keep in mind is that most decisions are reversible. If you really hate that color of your couch after a couple of months, you can upholster it or sell it. Also, and this might be the biggest reason I can get over indecision: I never, ever, ever want to be left wondering “What if..?” What if I had chosen the option that seemed scary (read: exciting) at the time but I was too intimidated by it? What if I had taken that chance to study abroad like I always said I wanted? What if I would have had the guts to speak up for myself at work?
See? Terrible. Don’t let indecision rule your life.