Listen. Cuffing season’s around the corner. Not gonna re-explain what it is, but I am gonna tell you how to make sure you get in the game this year. Ready? Let’s go.
September: tryouts
If you did summer like you’re supposed to, you should have a nice selection of people you’re “talking to”. September is tryout month. Go on a few dates. Take ’em for a test drive if you want to. Figure out which one’s the best cuddler. Which one would be most fun to have around boring mandatory parties. Someone’s who’s good at beach parties might not be good for cutesy winter dates.
Hard rule: exes do not even make it to the tryouts. Ever.
October: the draft
Now most people will tell you that cuffing season officially starts in November. Not gonna argue, but some of us like to have someone before Halloween, just so you’re not too shocked at what comes out from under that costume when you sober up early November 1st. Just saying.
If you wanna use October for official cuffing season purposes, this is the time you narrow it down to your favorite 2-3 people. See which one fits you best at this stage of your life and make sure they’re looking for the same thing.
Hard rule: October is for changing your mind. Don’t “commit” to someone if you have doubts a couple of days later. Winter is long.
November: selection
Ah, yes. November. The month in which you make your final decision.
This is where the good stuff is. So as my no-nonsense friend likes to say: hang out, hook up, have fun.
Hard rule: as tempting as it may be, DO NOT post your final choice on social media, especially not in a relationship-type context. Remember what this is and what this isn’t.
December: peak season
December is what all this trouble was for. All the obligated holiday parties, dinners, drinks. The cold, wet nights where you don’t wanna go anywhere and just want to play under the covers while pretending to get your money’s worth out of Netflix (or your friend’s money, because let’s face it… you don’t pay for your own subscription, do you?) — now you have someone who’ll make all this stuff waaaaay more fun. This is also the time where you’d usually notice whether or not you view this person as here for a season vs. a longer time.
Hard rule: don’t overdo it on the Christmas presents. Even if you got it like that.
January: the flow
As with any season, this is where you’ll notice if you flow really nicely together as a team or not. Chances are you’re moving along happily at this point.
Hard rule: keep managing your expectations on both ends. Going through the holidays may feel like you’re in it for realsies (which is cool if you both are), but keep track of your and their emotions.
February: the finals
Cuffing season usually wraps up riiiiight before Valentine’s Day, as there’s always the risk that somebody will read too much into it if you spend *that* day together. Plus nobody wants to blow all that cash on someone that’s not gonna be around a couple of weeks later.
Hard rule: appreciate the good time you had, but don’t try to prolong something that was never meant to last.
Other rules:
- Keep the communication flowing. Don’t get too deep and mushy with it, but if you notice that you’re catching feelings (or that they are), have that conversation before you reach the point of no return.
- Always always always be safe. Always. No glove no love and alladat.
- No games. Cuffing season is not about playing hard to get or any of that nonsense. It’s about both of you being available to each other to spend your time together. Remember: time you enjoyed wasting, is never wasted time.
- Repeat after me: WE ARE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME, NOT A LONG TIME.
Y’all have fun, now.
