I went to a friend’s wedding a couple of weeks ago. He’s one of my oldest friends and the ceremony was beautiful and it was so great to see some people I haven’t seen in years. BUT this is not what this article is going to be about. It was a church ceremony and the pastor said something that kinda resonated with me, and I want to share it with you.
He knew the couple well, and at one point brought up their different personalities and how they complemented each other. One of the things he brought up that really stuck with me was about finding a sense of security with someone and being able to be broken for someone. He went on to explain what that means and how different people go about it. To be broken for someone means to show them your vulnerabilities, fully open up to someone. Let someone in, emotionally. You know, the scary stuff. And generally there’s two ways people can go about it.
The first is the more emotionally conservative way, where it takes time for someone to open up. They will, slowly but surely, but they first need to know that it’s safe, that you’re the one they can be open, honest and vulnerable with and that they won’t be taken advantage of.
The other way in which people show their brokenness is the opposite. They open up completely right from the get-go with a “This is who I am, the good and the bad, take it or leave it” type of approach. I like this approach and I lean more towards this, but only with someone who makes me feel like it’s safe enough to open up to them like that. So yeah, if you’re reading this and you know about my darker thoughts and experiences…
Whichever way works for you, the underlying thought is that you can only achieve that sense of security that we’re all (sometimes lowkey) looking for once you’ve been ‘broken’ for someone. And that includes all the stuff that we’re scared to be judged or rejected for. But is a situation in which you have to hide (parts of) who you are really worth it anyway?