What We Say vs. What We Mean

As some of us tend to live our lives in full denial of a lot of things, I decided to break down what some very common phrases mean, so you can stop reading into someone’s behavior and just stick to the facts.

Since I started this blog, I’ve been getting some questions from both men and women about what the people they’re seeing/talking to/interested in really mean with all they say. Now I don’t claim to have all the answers, but careful observation during my adult life has allowed me to draw the following conclusions.

“I’m not ready for/I don’t want a relationship right now.” This really means “I don’t want a relationship with you“. You’re not it. Sorry, not sorry. You need to know this. If you were worth it to them, they’d take that step with you.

Any emoji response to “I love you”. They don’t love you. They might like you. Maybe even like you a lot. But it ain’t love, homes.

“I need space.” Go away. At least temporarily. But more likely, just: go away.

“We’re at different stages in our lives.” You need to get your shit together, but I no longer have the patience to wait around for it. Another possibility: you bore me to tears.

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“I’m not a good person/not good enough for you.” They’re not a good person. They’re not good enough for you. Don’t try to save them. Save yourself. Run.

“I lost your number.” Do I look like an idiot to you? FOH it’s 2017, people don’t lose numbers.

“I don’t plan that far ahead.” I’m trying to see if I can make better plans, because I have to be able to do better than you. However, you’re good enough for a backup plan.

“I’m not the relationship type.” I’ll totally f*ck you, I just won’t date you.

“I’ll think about it.”/”We’ll see.” I don’t want to think about it. Don’t ask me again./I’m really just trying to shut you up. Look, it’s all very simple. This is most common when trying to make plans with somebody. If they wanted to see you, they’d make it happen. Life really isn’t all that complicated.

Disclaimer: some of these could also mean the person saying it has some serious emotional damage. You don’t wanna deal with that either. Run.

Sorry if some of these hurt your feelings, but at the same time: we all need a little tough love every now and then. After all, people don’t always mean what they say or say what they mean. The sooner you realize this, the easier it’ll be to look out for yourself.