A while ago we talked about how breaking up with your bestie can hurt a hell of a lot more than a romantic breakup. But you know what? Sometimes a bestie breakup is for the best.
There’s a couple of ways in which your (best) friend can turn out to be somewhat of a leech. Sometimes this is how your friendship was established, sometimes it develops into it.
Story: we have a close family friend. She’s one of those people who you automatically think of “they’re genuinely too good for this world”, the woman’s a treasure. Anyway, other people recognize this, and only look for opportunities for themselves. She recently decided to move across the country. One of her oldest, closest friends’ first (dead serious) response was: “but then where am I supposed to have my packages delivered?” Really? I rolled my eyes so hard when I heard this one, you guys.
Another story: sometimes, it’s the friends who are trying really hard who turn out to be ones most emotionally draining. There’s a group of friends I’m part of and we love hanging out, going out together. We’re really close. One of the people in this group, although they definitely mean well, tends to talk over everybody. Every time. You’re telling something that could be deeply personal, the first response you get is a sentence about themselves, sometimes not even related to what you were talking about. It’s an amazing skill, to be able to make any- and everything about yourself. Like I said, they mean well, but it’s exhausting so at some point you just stop sharing.
This sounds somewhat familiar to most people I suppose. Every group has one. If yours doesn’t, you’re probably this person.
These are just some examples of friends who really aren’t necessarily good for you. Think about it. What defines a friendship? For me, it’s best summarized in the cliché of “friends are family you choose”: they are your support system and you are theirs. Ups, downs, highs, lows, random inappropriate jokes and deep heartfelt conversations. So if it doesn’t work that way (anymore), maybe it’s time to reevaluate your friendship. The benchmark? As with everything: once the bad starts to structurally outweigh the good, it’s officially no longer a situation you should be in.