It’s high time we discuss this. The Pick-Me phenomenon. Not familiar with what it is? Careful now, because this might just be you.
So a Pick-Me is a woman who’ll subtly (or not so subtly) put other women down to gain men’s approval and attention. To advertise themselves as wifey/girlfriend material, unlike all these other women. Sometimes it’s not even about that. They just want to be picked for someting. A relationship. Physical attention. Maid. Babysitter. Fuckbuddy. Anything. “I’ll be whatever you need me to be, king!”
The best examples of this, as with anything in life, can be found on Twitter. Pick-Me communication can happen in a variety of ways, but it usually revolves around the following themes: cooking, going out, makeup, bodycount, cheating.
Some examples:
- “I’d rather stay home on a Friday night than hang out in these clubs like some of y’all.”
- “How some of y’all don’t cook and clean while working 2 jobs and raise 3 kids that aren’t yours is beyond me. This is why you’re single.”
- “Don’t blame him for cheating. Look at what YOU did to MAKE HIM cheat.”
You’d never say something like that? Good. Here are some examples of more socially acceptable and definitely more common Pick-Me statements:
- “I’m not like other girls.”
- “I don’t hang out with women. Too much drama.”
- “I’d rather be a Princess Diana than an Amber Rose.”
First of all, y’all are lying. You just are. You paint yourself as this wholesome, one-dimensional person and to be honest, if you really are like that, y’all about as boring as plain yogurt and as deep as a puddle. If that’s what you aspire to be, then congratulations and I wish you the best of luck in your further endeavors as a doormat.
Secondly, you’re doing a disservice to women everywhere, including yourself. You’re reinforcing the idea that women are, by nature, “less than”. Here’s some news for ya: a woman’s value does not lie in what she can do for a man, least of all an ain’t shit-man. If you believe it is, please don’t procreate. The world does not need more people telling women that they shouldn’t have a personality in order for mediocre men to shine.
Here’s the best part. The irony of it all is that a Pick-Me is usually not unique at all. Chances are she’s an amalgamation of a bunch of different movie characters that she thought were ~interesting~ personalities.
And fellas, don’t think you’re off the hook here. You guys do this shit too. A lot. There are plenty of Pick-He guys out in the world. “I have a job and a car, and therefore any woman that chooses not to date me is missing out.” Y’all. It can go in the other direction too. “I’m waiting for my queen, I’ll treat her right. I’m a REAL MAN. I’ll cook her food. Buy her clothes. I’ll do anything (sound familiar yet?)”
Look, there’s nothing wrong with being a homebody. What’s wrong is claiming other people are less-than because they wanna do something else with their Friday nights. There’s nothing wrong with learning how to cook. You should be able to feed yourself, after all. What’s wrong is blaming other peoples’ non-cooking for their relationship ending. Staying with somebody after they cheated on you is your choice to make and is fine. What’s not OK is acting like it’s a woman’s fault that a man with free will decides to stick his d*ck in another woman.
Here’s a thought: instead of talking about what a catch you are unlike these other people, how about you develop a personality and go out into the real world? See how far you get with that attitude and how happy you are. And let everybody else do the same.