You know how so many comedians crack jokes about women not liking each other? They say there’s truth to every good joke. I spent a long time thinking about this. Years, even. Solidarity among women a strange, rare, elusive phenomenon.
There are so many different aspects to this. Back in high school I noticed girls always competing for boys’ attention, often in harmful and damaging ways. Some would dumb themselves down, some would actually look for physical confirmation and do things they weren’t ready to do at all. And then of course turn around and project that on the other girls not being mature or whatever enough.
Fast forward a couple of years. College and university. Actual dating starts. A friend of mine had something interesting happen to her. She was on and off with a guy for a while, until they decided to stay friends (which is another topic for another blogpost). A little while later he meets somebody, gets serious and all, but still talks about how he misses her. So what did he want? A side chick. Whatever justification came after really doesn’t matter. The fact that she considered it just goes to show how far we’re sometimes willing to go with a complete disregard for other women. And for what? A guy.
Now I’m not saying that women should always give way to someone else. Hell, that’s what we’ve been taught to do since we were kids, in some cultures much more so than others. What I am saying though is examine your motives. Are you competing for a job, based on your skills and accomplishments? Sorry sis, but if I can and will win, best believe you’re going down. But as you can tell from the above examples, what I’m talking about is when women diminish who they are, what they can do and what they want to fit into some image that is expected of them by society (read: patriarchy), stepping on other women in the process.
I wanna end on a happy note though. As with other things in life, nothing unites like a common enemy. There are some great stories out there of women standing up for each other, protecting each other. I picked this off of Tumblr and it really made me smile, while at the same time of course it’s sad that this is even necessary and that harassment is so prevalent.
Little sidenote: another reason this thread struck a nerve is because we’re always so quick to tell girls and women to be careful, to avoid assault, violation or worse. “Don’t wear that.” “Don’t drink too much.” Apart from the fact that this puts the responsibility on women instead of on the ones responsible, it’s basically telling these girls and women: “Make sure they rape the other girl.” There will always be somebody with a shorter skirt, who had more to drink, etc. And this reasoning is heartbreaking, really. I applaud the women mentioned in this thread for taking back their power.
So what about you? Have you ever experienced this solidarity among women? Or have you witnessed the complete opposite? Sound off in the comments!