I’m getting a bit personal on this one. I’m about to turn 30 and figured I’d take some life-altering lessons and gather them here rather than in a little notebook. So here’s a little list of lessons, events and other important stuff that I’ve learned and gathered in these three decades. Most of them in the last one.
Things I Learned
About Love
There is no one definition of love. It means different things to different people, and how you feel or how you express it is deeply personal. It takes a looooot of empathy to figure out what the people you love in your life need in order to feel loved by you, but I think I made some strides there. As with anything, it’s a work in progress.
About Friendship
We all know that sometimes friendships end. There’s a very small chance that you still have the exact same group of friends you had in high school at this point in your life. What is more of a recent lesson for me, though, is that friendships evolve. Not always for the better/closer. And you know what? That’s OK. My inner circle got a lot smaller over the past couple of years, and I’m (by now) 100% comfortable with that.
Things I Did
Lived abroad
I never got to do this during university, so I’m glad work gave me the opportunity to go abroad for a couple of months. I was sent out by myself and didn’t know anybody there, which essentially meant I had to make my own life there very quickly. Due to the nature of where I was (Dubai), that was relatively simple. Nobody in the expat community there knows how long they’ll be there, and everyone there has been in the same situation. So while that was a big shift in my personal life, professionally I learned a lot as well. Mostly about how I conduct myself at work and how you can take control of whatever situation you’re in professionally. So that was good.
Bought my first apartment
During the very last stretch of the housing market crash, I was able to buy my first apartment and I’ve never felt more like an adult. Of course, then came the renovations. I was very lucky to have a group of people around me who were ready, willing, and able to help me out with that. During this time I finally made use of my inability to cook for small groups of people and paid people in food.
Got a dog
I finally, finally went out and got myself a puppy. While it’s sometimes a struggle to make sure he’s taken care of while I’m at work, and he was a handful the first year (still is, but differently so), I’m still very happy to have done that. It adds a little structure to my otherwise all-over-the-place life, and it also guarantees I spend some time outside each day rather than just facing screens 24/7. Also, he’s adorable.
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Things That Happened
Got my heart broken
You’d think this happens to everyone at some point. It doesn’t. For a long time I thought I was in the safe zone. Until my heart got broken. Shattered, really. So that sucked. But as a friend recently pointed out: I survived, and even managed to work through my bitterness about the situation. And I’m now also pretty sure that I can survive any type of emotional hurt. So yay for me (I guess). Plus learning about what you don’t want and won’t settle for is probably the most important step to being able to formulate what you do want.
What’s next?
So what now? Of course there are more plans, hopes and dreams. The biggest thing that I’m taking into account though, is to rely on myself. A friend of mine told me to phrase this positively, so let’s give that a go: because of everything that’s happened to and around me, I’ve learned to trust my own instincts and depend on my own strengths to achieve what I want. Help along the way is welcome, but not expected.
