Coming clean about how you feel about somebody is scary. Terrifying. Because what if they don’t feel the same way? Worse, what if they laugh? (I don’t think I know anybody who would laugh over it, but fears aren’t rational so we’re still scared of it). Also, admitting it is kind of equal to giving away whatever power and control you have over the situation, isn’t it?
Honestly, I thought about it and there is something to be said for saying this stuff early on. By early on I mean when you yourself are sure about liking this person (three tingle minimum, though). Why? I’m glad you asked.
When you’re still in the early phases of feeling tingly about someone, you can go in a number of different directions. You can decide to become/remain friends, you can decide to start dating, you can decide to walk out of each other’s lives, whatever. The important thing is that you still have a choice.
If you wait too long, you’ll end up admiring this person from a distance, probably glorifying them in the process, getting deeper and deeper into your feelings, and will end up only making things more difficult down the line. You’re running out of options. Clearly being friends isn’t working for you, but maybe the other person wants to just be your friend. Maybe they never (officially) knew how you feel. Maybe you missed your window. Maybe they’re suffering in silence, just like you. Unanswered questions and what-ifs. They’re the worst. I call this moment the point of no return, because you can’t go (back) to being friends.
So this is the part where it gets tricky. Because let’s face it: most of us aren’t too big on relinquishing the power of letting someone know how we feel about them and showing that kind of vulnerability. But imagine how much simpler life (well, dating) could be if the moment you realized you had three tingles, you’d go up to your contender, say “Hey listen, I’m catching some kinda feelings for you and I wanna know if that’s something you can reciprocate, cuz if not, I can still go back to being friends at this point.” But nahh, we like to complicate things.
Makes sense, doesn’t it? What do you think? Would you admit being in your feelings early on? Cuz full disclosure: for all my talk and rationalization here, I still wouldn’t.