Remember when we discussed how to navigate a blossoming intercultural relationship? Yeah, so if that part all works out, you might need some advice on next steps. So here it is: the Intermediate Guide to Intercultural Dating.
So we left off at the moment where your SO drags you around to all kinds of family functions, right? Good. Then the next thing you need to know is about gifts. Now this will vary a lot from family to family. Some general guidelines: knives or anything of the sort is generally a bad idea. So if you want to get your father-in-law a nice set of steak knives: don’t. Stuff like soaps and perfumes can also be misinterpreted in a lot of cultures. It can and will be interpreted as a hint, and telling your in-laws they need to work on their BO isn’t gonna make you any friends. If you’re going to go with flowers, despite my earlier warnings, ask your SO about which colors and types of flowers are OK. Or just go with food, like I told you in the previous post.
So about receiving gifts: in a lot of Western cultures you’re supposed to open the present in front of whoever gave it to you and then exclaim how much you love it and how perfect it is and how you’ve always wanted a set of porcelain farm animals. In a lot of places in the rest of the world, however, opening presents in front of guests is considered rude. Why? Because it’ll look like you value the gifts more than the presence of your guests. Added benefit: you don’t have to pretend to like whatever they gave you.
If you’ve been together for a little (actually, a lot) longer, stuff like marriage and kids can and probably will come up. This is where cultures can really clash. I see a lot of people around me who really don’t see the added value in marriage. And that’s cool, you know, marriage ain’t for everyone. But if one of you really does value marriage and sees it as a next step, you should know about it and talk about it. And when it comes to wedding traditions, please remember: it’s about the marriage, not the wedding. If I had a dime for every time I had to tell one of my friends that… If your in-laws wanna hijack your wedding and turn it into something traditional, it’s a small price to pay for getting to marry the person you wanna be with. Unless you’re adamant about your Disney Princess-themed wedding or whatever. More power to you.
*BONUS*
Here are some responses for when they inevitably start asking you guys about babies.