Since we live in an age of instant gratification, I was subtly convinced by my partner in crime Lola to get with the program and (re)download a dating app. Here’s what happened.
OK so first of all, let’s get this one thing out of the way. It reaaaaally rubs me the wrong way that 90% of these apps will ask you about your racial preference before anything else. Dafuq? “Yeah I totally wanna find love. But only if this person will fit certain stereotypes of what I think this race of people is like.”
Anyway. So I looked for something that didn’t have a race filter on it and ended up redownloading the same app I told you guys about in an earlier post. The one I deleted in a panic for not knowing how to respond to a dude “liking” my profile or whatever #forscience.
This time around I actually lasted a couple of weeks. Turns out: scrolling through headshots of a bunch of dudes in exactly 1 of 3 possible poses is an excellent way to kill time. Until you see people you know on it. Especially people you work with. Yikes. After hiding all of those people from my results, I actually did match with a few people. Granted, most of them was due to me dropping my phone and my screen now acting on its own merit, opening apps, sending emails, and apparently clicking those damn little hearts on this app (true story — I kid you not), but I decided to roll with it and go into these conversations. Because #forscience.
Conversation 1:
Dude: “Wow you’re very exotic.”
Me: “I know you mean that as a compliment, but you can’t really call people exotic, here’s why (…) In short, it’s dehumanizing and othering. So yeah, I don’t really like it when people call me that.”
Dude: “Yeah but I still think so, so I’m still gonna call you exotic.”
Conversation 2:
Dude: “Hey”
Me: “Hi”
*total silence for quite a while*
Me (rolling eyes): “So how are you?”
Dude: “I’m good, you?”
Me: “Good. Busy, but good.”
Dude: “Work?”
Me: “Yeah”
Dude: “Ikr”
*total silence*
Me @ me: well fuck this.
*closes app*
Painfully weak conversation, mostly. Also, 9/10 out of these dudes have kids. I mean, it’s good that they’re honest about it or whatever, but damn. So many people out here procreating at this age and on a dating app? Interesting. Not tryna judge, but since kids are a dealbreaker for me… Yeah. That kinda narrows the pool on these things. I ended up deleting the app pretty quickly after these convos.
Anyway. Is there a point to this blog entry? Not really. Just wanted to share my experiences with you. Because in all these years I have not ONCE heard people say that they love online dating. Not once. Honestly, save the space on your phone for selfies and bullshit videos with your friends.