What to do when someone’s spreading lies about you

So this is something that has been bothering me for a while, and is something most women deal with at some point in time. I’m sure some men do too, but you know, frame of reference and all.

Years ago I went out a couple of times with a guy who I met through a mutual friend. It fizzled out kinda quickly and nothing ever happened between us. However, dude felt the need to tell our mutual friend that it did, leading to me receiving a text from said mutual friend full of question marks and exclamation points late at night. Follow so far? Dude felt the need to tell people he slept with me. No. Not even a little bit. No.

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Anyway I shook it off as dude having an easily fractured ego and laughed it off. I told my friend that he should know me better than that and left it at that. However, now that something extremely similar has happened to a friend of mine, it’s time we discuss this. See, I don’t understand why people would feel the need to lie about something like this. Is it really because they feel threatened in their masculinity? And more interesting, what do they hope to gain from this? Do they not think the truth will come out?

Honestly, there’s two ways to deal with this kind of stuff. The first is to take the high road, laugh it off, and move on with your life. But if you’re feeling extra petty, you can totally take advantage of this.

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What these men fail to consider is that, first of all, these things always come back to us. We will hear about it, and it will piss us off, even if we decide to go with the high road option. Catch us on a bad day, and the following will happen.

“Yes we did, and he had no clue what he was doing / reminded me of a cocktail pickle / turned out to be a three-stroke dude.” Honestly, at this point I’m so freakin’ annoyed by people who feel the need to lie about this kinda stuff, this is going to be my approach from now on.

Consider this a warning to men (and women) everywhere who want bragging rights about something they have no business talking about.