Ever been on girlfriend duty? For a guy you’re not even dating? What does that even mean? Glad you asked.
So it’ll probably differ slightly from person to person. For me, there’s a very thin line between what I’ll do for my close friends and what I’ll do for my SO. In either case if they’re sick I’ll come over with some food. In either case I’ll listen to what they’re struggling with and try to be supportive and if so desired, voice an opinion. The way in which I do these things, though, will differ depending on what kind of position you hold in my life.
Examples. And yes, all of these things have happened to me or someone close to me. Do you help him decide on a shirt for his big job interview? Girlfriend duty. Do you run little errands for him if he doesn’t have time or asks you to? Girlfriend duty. Do you pick him up at the airport whenever he comes back from any kind of trip (by your lonesome)? Girlfriend duty. If his parents are in town, do you entertain them when he’s unavailable? Definitely girlfriend duty.
Take a minute. Think about it. Have you done any of these things or something similar for somebody that you secretly like a little too much to just be friends? You, my friend, have been on girlfriend duty without getting any of the perks (probably — if you have, that’s whooooole other discussion).
So how do you get out of it? Expectations management, my friend. Learn to say no. Teach people how to treat you and more cliches like that. When I realized I was doing all this stuff for a guy who really was no more than just a friend, the next time he asked me for a superfavor I glanced at him and said “That’s boyfriend privilege. You don’t have that.”
Now this will most likely end the whole dynamic you two have going on. You know, the one where you’re performing girlfriend duty while the girl he’s actually dating gets to do the fun parts. Chances are, he’ll stop asking you for these things. You know what you get in return, though? Your dignity.