Denial is comfortable

I recently read an article that promised to explain how to recognize if someone is flirting with you, and they had the science to back it up. By flirting, they meant mostly body language and forwardness of what was being said. By science, they mean panels and observation.

One of the findings that really stood out to a friend of mine was the following: “Men were more likely to think their female friends were into them while women under-perceived their male friends’ interest.” I’m not sure if this is true. Let me explain to you why that is.

I think it’s really, really easier for a lot of women to say this. It’s socially acceptable, as women are quickly labeled as “arrogant” when they think a guy who has never said it with so many words is into them. But in a lot of cases, I think it also has to do with how comfortable denial is. From my experience and observation, denial is the way to go if you think there’s some kind of chemistry going on between you and someone else, but you’re not sure how they feel about it. In other words: you know what’s going on but pretend that you don’t. “Best to just play it off so I don’t: make a fool outta myself/create any awkward situations/have to actually decide what I wanna do with this.” Pick your favorite.

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Let me be clear: being in denial is not to be confused with being oblivious. When you’re oblivious, you legit don’t know what’s going on. Most of us outgrow that at some point and you usually know good and damn well what’s going on. You just choose to ignore it because it’s easier. It’s comfortable.

Sooooo in conclusion: could it be true that guys are often interested in their female friends? Sure, that could be. Could be the other way around too. But I think in a lot of times you, as the object of someone’s affection (or lust, because let’s be honest here) lowkey know this. And you’re just yelling back to the world that it’s not true so you’ll start to believe it and don’t have to deal with the consequences.

Been there, done that 🙂