I recently re-entered the dating scene. It hasn’t even been that long since I last was a part of it, but long enough for some very big changes. And my God, how the bar has been lowered. Or has it always been this way?
I’m sure you want examples. I got examples. Plenty. Painfully. First of all, who taught these men that these corny ass pickup lines work? Who? I demand you make yourself known! Who told an Asian guy it was OK for him to walk up to me, a Black woman, and start singing “Black & yellow” while pointing back and forth? Who???
Who taught these women that it’s OK to partake in thirst traps? Who told them it was OK to slide into another woman’s man’s DMs with some random pics, huh? Who???
And of course I have to touch upon the dating app phenomenon. Some friends have been trying to tell me to get into it, but I’m just not ready for that kind of meatmarket type of world. If any of you have (positive) experiences with it, please share them in the comments. Because from what I have to go on, it doesn’t seem very tempting.
All of this made me think about whether dating (or “talking”, as I understand is the proper term now) is really worth it. Honestly, who wants to go through the hassle of getting to know someone, only to find out they’re one of the ones who like to shame women on Instagram while posing shirtless on their own snaps? But here’s the good news: you have some control over all of that. Use all this ridiculousness to your advantage. Find this stuff out early on. And if your guy (or girl) turns out to be a fuckboy (or -girl), don’t hesitate to drop them like a bad habit and move on. You can do better.
Ladies (and gentlemen), don’t ever, ever, EVER lower the bar so far that your minimum requirements aren’t met. If you have to describe the person you’re dating / seeing / talking to starting with “Well, at least…” Stop. Just stop. Stop, drop, move on to the next.