2016 is almost over and I’m here to share my lessons of the past year with you. Some of these I learned through my own experience, some of these I’ve observed around me. Basically, there’s a wrong way and a right way to date more than one person at the same time.
I started this blog in February, right after a breakup. I promised myself then and there I would stay single for at least the remainder of 2016, and I did. Now, if you’re (happily) single, chances are that at some point you’re going to be seeing more than one person at the same time. Here are some pointers I picked up along the way.
Throw out your list. Don’t give me that look, you know you have a list. I’m not saying you should abandon your standards, but try dating someone outside of your comfort zone. It’s not just fun and exciting, it can be a good way to learn something about yourself, too.
Don’t catch feelings. You can’t date more than one person if you catch feelings. Of course this isn’t something you can necessarily control, so if at some point you do catch feelings for someone, manage them. Figure out what you wanna do and act accordingly. Wanna pursue this person? Let them know. Wanna avoid them? There’s a right way to do that, too. Whatever you decide is fine, as long as you’re upfront and honest about it.
Get to know these people. This post is about dating multiple people, so that implies getting to know them. If you’re just looking for multiple people to hook up with, that’s cool too, but again: let them know y’all ain’t dating. Besides, getting to know people will once again teach you something about yourself: what kinda people do you wanna hang out with? What kinda people would you wanna be more involved with? Stuff like that.
Don’t double book. Can’t believe I still gotta tell you this. Do NOT double book, do not plan to see two people on the same evening. Something will inevitably go wrong and you’ll be stuck with awkward stories and explanations and it’s just not a good look.
Tell the truth. Let me come out right now and say that this does NOT mean that you gotta immediately tell them that they’re not the only person you’re hanging out with. However, if they ask you whether or not you’re seeing someone else, be honest about it. Yes it will probably be awkward, but at the end of the day it’s better for everyone to know what’s up. Expectations management and all.
Set boundaries. One of the most important ones. Boundaries. Decide from the jump how far you wanna take this dating thing. If you’re just testing the waters, act accordingly. You wanna actually sleep with multiple people, although not simultaneously? Act accordingly (wrap that shit up, please).
That’s all I got for ya. Now go forth, hang out, have fun. And lemme know how it all works out for you.