In light of recent events I figured we all could use some information on healthy coping mechanisms.
First we have to look at where coping mechanisms come into play. We usually deploy them at times of stress, tension or other discomfort. There are various types of coping mechanisms, which can be broadly split into positive and negative.
Positive coping mechanisms
- Adaptive: offer positive help, by for example using the energy you feel to do something productive and/or acceptable.
- Behavioral: change what we do. Can be both positive and negative, depending on what kind of behaviors you’ll start to display.
- Cognitive: change what we think. Can be both positive and negative, depending on what kind of behaviors you’ll start to display.
- Conversion: change one thing into another. Usually positive, very closely related to being able to put things in perspective and rationalizing.
Negative coping mechanisms
- Attack mechanisms: pushing discomfort onto others
- Avoidance: avoiding the issue. The catch here is that it seems harmless, and it can briefly be just that. However, in the long run, this will start to seriously mess with your mental and emotional balance.
- Behavioral: change what we do. Depending on what behavior you’re displaying it can be either positive or negative.
- Cognitive: changing what we think. Generally, this is positive. The risk here is that it slips into other forms of coping, such as avoidance or self-harm.
- Defense: the original coping mechanisms set forth by Freud that defend the Ego.
- Self-harm: hurts ourselves. Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Obviously the list of coping mechanisms is very long and the topic much too broad and complicated for me to cover all of it. The most important thing to remember is that coping is not the same as curing. It will definitely help for a while, and it’ll differ from person to person and even from situation to situation for how long it’ll help.
So how do you recognize your own coping behavior? That will also differ per person and situation. Generally you can identify your own mechanisms the following way: reflect on what you usually do when you feel stressed or uncomfortable. Then consider whether this has taken any habitual forms. Do you do all this every time? And how does resorting to these things make you feel? Is it something that gives you a sensation of release or does it seem addictive to you, rather than giving you joy or a sense of accomplishment? You might be displaying some toxic behaviors then. This is your first step. Unlearning is up to you.