I’m a firm believer in learning from other peoples’ mistakes. Life’s simply too short to make all the mistakes yourself. So allow me to pass on to you some lessons that my friends and I have picked up along the years.
- Life on social media isn’t real.
- Traditions can be a beautiful way to connect with your roots and culture. They can also be destructive.
- If it’s not your culture, don’t adopt or imitate it unless invited into it. Have some respect.
- Rape jokes are never funny. I don’t care who you are, they’re not.
- In this age of information, ignorance is a choice.
- Work hard doesn’t guarantee success. Talent doesn’t guarantee success. Work hard anyway. Cultivate your talent anyway. You don’t want to live your life knowing you haven’t tried.
- Dating sucks.
- Don’t get out of bed for less than three tingles. Or rather: don’t let anyone into yours for less.
- Slow and steady can most definitely lose the race.
- It’s not your fault. Some (wo)men just ain’t shit.
- Don’t prioritize someone who treats you like an option.
- Your self-worth is not dependent on others’ ability to see it.
- People aren’t going to change just because you want them to. Because you ain’t special.
- Trust that little inner voice. Even if you don’t have “proof”.
- Use it or lose it. Seriously.
- Experience > enthusiasm. Sorry not sorry.
- Don’t say “I love you” unless you mean it. And really know what it means, too.
- If they wanted to see you, they’d make it happen.
- Showing is better than telling. Actions > words.
- Hang out, hook up, have fun. Get tested.
- Wrap it up. Always.
- Always manage expectations. Those of other people as well as your own.
- Desperation is not sexy.
- The first time somebody shows you their true colors, believe them. Don’t make excuses. Don’t walk. Run.
- Take risks. “What if” is the worst question to ask yourself.
- Not taking risks is the most dangerous thing in the world.
- Nobody ever laid on their deathbed and said “I wish I had spent more time at work.”
- Don’t settle for less.
- Always keep your endgame in mind.
- Give as much as you want to receive.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say.
- “I don’t want to” is all the explanation you owe anybody.
- You’ll know when you know. If you’re still wondering, it’s not it.
- Overanalyzing will kill it dead.
- You’re better off single than with the wrong person.
- The best sex you’ll ever have probably won’t be with the person that’s best for you. Sorry.
- Relationships can get stale. It’s up to you to keep it fresh.
- People love in different ways. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you’d want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you at all.
- Exercise. You’ll feel better.
- Take care of your physical and mental health, but don’t forget to enjoy life in the process.
- If you want to get something done by someone else, make sure they believe it was their idea. Manipulative? Maybe. But it’s effective.
- People suck.
- Beware of being loyal to people you have no business being loyal to. That includes family. As well as your professional relationships.
- Once the bad structurally outweighs the good, walk.
- Having your dream job is great. But sometimes you just need something to pay the bills while you look for that dream job.
- Past results are no guarantee for the future. But they do indicate likelihood. A shared history does not guarantee shared future.
- Being judgmental is a waste of energy.
- So is holding grudges.
- Forgive, but never forget.
- Getting even can feel really good, though.
- When in doubt, don’t.
- Once is a mistake. Twice is a choice.
- You can speak things into existence.
- Nobody’s looking out for you but you. Keep your own best interests at heart.
- Not everybody is worth your time. Be selective.
- You’re stronger than you think you are.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Nobody’s perfect. And that’s OK. Perfect is boring.
- Sometimes things are corny because they’re true: never make decisions when you’re angry, never make promises when you’re happy.
- Your best experiences await right outside of your comfort zone.
- Experiences are better than things.
- Sleep is important. But not that important.
- What other people think of you is none of your business.
- Never, ever, ever speak over someone else. If you haven’t lived it, you cannot be a spokesperson for it. Be a true ally and make your platform available to those with no voice.
- Call people out on their bullshit.
- You are free to change your opinion based on new information. Holding onto something in a dogmatic kind of way is rarely good.
- Before you say something, ask yourself: is it kind? Is it necessary? Will it matter in 5 years?
- Be honest, tell the truth. It’s easier to remember.
- Keep some things to yourself. Not everything needs to be shared with the world. Don’t do it for the ‘gram.
- You teach people how to treat you. Don’t be afraid to choose you and walk away.
- Be respectful to strangers, be kind to children and animals, and smile when picking up the phone. But be ruthless with those who cross your personal boundaries.
- Listen to your squad. They might recognize red flags a lot quicker than you.
- You always have a choice. Sometimes the options suck, but there’s a choice nonetheless.
- Indecision is a choice, too.
- Build, cherish and nurture your squad. Those are your soulmates.
Bring on the 30s.
